Musician’s Latest Audition Video Marks One Step Closer To Death

John Man, freelance musician and personal entrepreneur, has just put the final delicate touches on a glorious labour of love that has occupied his thoughts for the last few weeks.

“That’s right,” he explained. “I’ve just made another fucking audition video.”

John Man was reportedly excited to hear about The Opportunity, the one that all his colleagues had also heard about. “Even if I didn’t want to do it,” he said, “I would want to have a chance, because of course I do want to do it. After all, I don’t want to miss out…on the chance.”

Man was even more thrilled that he could devote his time and money to making a video of himself performing. “I love performing,” he said. “And I Iove paying for the privilege. Wait…is it, I think I love being paid. I’m confused. But also grateful!”

Having spent hundreds of pounds making the video and polishing both it and his festering doubts, Man is proud to say that he has finally finished, and now he can add it to the pile of his other finished videos. “The difference between this video and all the older videos is that I can now use this new video for applications,” he said, “for a short time. Ah, to be useful, fleetingly! That is what I’ve trained for.”

Man takes comfort in the knowledge that his hard work and stress will be well rewarded by the rigorous selection process, in which a panel of successful(?) musicians will watch at least some of the video, if not some of the rest of the video.

“With each video I make, I come to appreciate that I come closer and closer to my dream,” he explained. “That, or death, where at least you don’t have to make audition videos. Ah, perchance, to dream…”