Five Ways To Save TwoSet Violin
Everyone has been shocked to learn that TwoSet Violin has decided to stop making content. After 11 years full of content-making, that has now stopped. And we are devastated?
What does that mean for people whose YouTube algorithm was eagerly suggesting TwOset Violin Content precisely because it knew that, despite everything, you’d click on it? What will it suggest now? Jordan Peterson? You’ve got to watch something!
It’s also a mystery as to why they stopped. Did they really run out of their trademark repartee?
Here at Throwcase, we think they could have been saved. So, in the grand tradition of people writing articles on how to save the dying classical music industry, we have made this article about how to save the dying TwoSet Violin industry.
Five Ways To Save TwoSEt Violin:
1) Replace the two charming and charismatic hosts with no hosts
The problem with TwoSet violin was that you needed to watch the two hosts talking, and that was a major problem for people’s attention spans. How were you supposed to make time to watch their universally appealing brilliance when you could have been watching other things instead? It was a fool’s errand to suppose that anyone would watch their classical music content when there was so much other accessible and relevant non-classical music content available instead. How could Brett and Ernie have competed?
2) Replace videos with just text
That’s right, here at Throwcase we are not short of bold, blue-sky thinking, where we totally revolutionise the field with Ideas. Who even needs video? That’s one of our ideas.
No, what we need is something new. Something as interesting as video, but without the oppression of time; what if instead of having moving images captivating and enslaving your eyeballs, there was a form of media that you control yourself, using your own imagination?
Enter Text: the new video. It’s like a podcast, but without the need for an app, or ears. Some say it’s even more informative than a podcast, because in this medium it’s even easier to skip the ads.
3) Replace the orchestra-lad humour with droll, niche humour based on esoteric references
Just like when Beethoven wrote his Battle Symphony, TwoSeT violin tried much too hard to appeal to the people, and all it got them was millions of followers and a decade of success. But where is all that now?
That’s what happens when you appeal to people with broad, universally relevant humour: you eventually pick up all your jokes and quirky shenanigans and you say “enough! it’s bed-time now nappy-mouth!”
What they should have done was write articles, not videos, and have the articles be full of jokes almost no-one gets, because it sort of requires a lot of assumed knowledge and even then it’s only a bit funny for some of the people. If they did that would they still be around? We think so!
4) Disguise the humour in swathes of irony so that no-one knows what the joke is
You could always tell where Bert and Eddie stood on any issue, like whether they were saying Ling Ling, or if they were saying other words. It was obvious! What sort of joke is that?
No, this was just proof that their comedic brilliance was always going to be short-lived, because there was no nuance of the sort that made you say “hmm, not sure if that’s a joke or not.” That’s what makes several people regularly stick around for more content.
5) Post rarely, take years off, come back randomly
Speaking of content, who needs content to be produced multiple times a week? Sure, we could all say we “want” it, insofar as we end up watching it against our will, but what if this punishing schedule only exists to satisfy the insatiable demands of the media-identity complex?
No, much better to only post every week, but also not always, like maybe skip a week here and there, take a year off, never explain when you are going or coming back, leave fans confused and break any habits they might have formed that could have led to a bigger following. That is one way to be authentic. If only TWoSet Violin had done that, maybe they’d still be going.
6) Be painfully self-referential, but in a wry, sort of sad way, like you don’t feel comfortable exposing your actual identity to the world
Do you really want to film yourselves between 20-90 minutes a week for 11 years for the world to see? One day you might wake up and decide to delete it all in an earnest attempt to get back to real life. Is there anything worse in this world than truly being known?
No, much better to filter your real self through other objects, like the famous experiment where they sent Pink Floyd light through a triangle. If you want to make something without revealing yourself, I don’t know, record a sonata or something. Everyone does that, and it’s always the sonata.
Yes, to be fair, this may reduce your online engagement from millions to occasionally one or two (thanks Karen) but the pay-off will be your deep inner satisfaction.
7) Make silly jokes that you enjoy.
That’s right, regardless of the knicks and knacks of external validation paddywhacks, if you like it, it doesn’t matter if no one else does. Follow your heart and you will be satisfied with your rich and meaningful inner world, whatever that is.
And there you have it, a sure-fire way for TwoSEt violin to keep going. We could all use another few years of Big Edie and Little Edie and their quirky local accents, so let’s hope that this is all just a clever ruse for a rebrand. Otherwise it might really be game, set, match.